I was heading down the road
In my two-tone shoes
With a packet full of baccy
And a bottle full of booze
I smoked my smokes
And I drank my booze
And I threw them all up
On my two-tone shoes
I grabbed me a gun
And I robbed me a bank
But the teller he was yeller
So I shot him point blank
When they checked that video
Looking for clues
There upon the screen
Were my two-tone shoes
They came for me
In a downtown bar
The sheriff said gee
Boy there y'all are
I recognise
Them two-tone shoes
I seen them tonight
On the TV news
(Cuff him Hank)
Sitting on death row
Waiting for the chair
They took away my shoes
So my feet are bare
When they threw that switch
That never blows a fuse
There upon the warden's feet
My two-tone shoes
Well I wound up in Heaven
On Judgement Day
The Good Lord said
I've got this to say
It wasn’t that killing
And it wasn’t that booze
I'm sending you to hell
Them two-tone shoes
Welcome to hell
The devil said
Set a spell
You're a long time dead
Said I Mister Lucifer
If I could choose
I'd love to go back
For my two-tone shoes
The devil said son
Just cool your ass
Stranger things
Have come to pass
Your shoes will be here
Before long
The warden died
Just after you gone
Why here he comes now
In his winding sheet
You take the head son
I'll take the feet
But what about my shoes I cried
Forget them shoes the devil replied
The only one down here said he
That gets to wear two-tone shoes is me
© 2005
The Ballad of The Two Tone Shoes
by Dudley Sutton
drawing by Debbie Prosser
